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August 15th, 1995, 3 a.m. I've been asleep for a few hours. Hot night, a little bit of breeze coming in through the screen door of the bedroom and the open windows on either side of the bed, but it's still sticky hot, the kind of heat that makes you realize that mattresses are the invention of a cold climate, whereas in hot countries people sleep on cold bare floors with ceramic head rests instead of pillows. The night is full of noise as it always is in the Ozarks, the loud trilling of treefrogs on the window sills and the crescendo of cicadas and katydids rising and falling from the trees that ring the yard. From deep in the woods in several directions come the repetitive chants of whippoorwills. In the Ozarks you learn to sleep in spite of the noise, the same as in New York City. It's just a different type of sound. I've learned to be watchful. I seldom sleep so deeply that I'm not aware of my surroundings at some base level of consciousness. Deep sleep is nearly a thing of the past for me, something I grab in snatches a few minutes at a time. Tonight has been quiet, though, in the terms I care about--until now. At first I think that the mechanical droning that invades the bedroom is the sound of a truck pulled over on the roadside a couple of hundred yards down the driveway, then with a jolt I realize the source of the noise is in the wrong place and much too near. Immediately I am fully awake and raise my head from the bed, expecting that with full consciousness the sound will fade and resolve itself into something ordinary--but it does not. The sound still comes from the west, a hundred feet away and just above the treetops, a droning mechanical hum like an idling engine, the bass rumbling pierced by the shrill whine of a high speed turbine. It does not sound like any truck engine I've ever heard. I don't want to tip them off. Let them think I'm sleeping and I'll deal with them if and when they come. I settle my head back on the pillow and feign sleep, but I'm all adrenalin and my heart is pounding. I hear the voices of men talking through the engine noise and strain to understand the words, but there's too much interference from the machine. I wait and watch the wall between me and the intruders. I hear them laughing. I wonder about going out to confront them but I set that thought aside. I have a better chance in here, in the pitch dark, than outside in the grass and the starlight. In here, surprise is on my side. I constantly check myself, asking myself whether I'm really awake or not, but I am awake completely and this is not one of those times when I'm wondering whether it's real in the physical sense or real in some altered state of awareness. I wouldn't be any more awake if they were shooting at me. I remind myself where my weapons are--the pistol on the nightstand, the longknife beside me in the bed. I'll use them if I need to do that. I inspect the mechanical noise with my mind, separate it into shafts spinning and pistons pounding and blades churning air, trying to get some sense of the machine. A mental image comes to my mind with the ease of familiarity, the same way pilots know a plane by the sound of its engine, except that this is something that isn't supposed to be and that I'm not supposed to know. It's a Vril 7 flying platform, probably the newer American model. Levers groan and thunk as hatches open. Noise ebbs and returns as men walk between me and the engine ports, setting up equipment on the walkway that rings the upper deck. The stabilizer fans scream without a hitch, compensating automatically for the shifting weight. The voices stop. A reddish orange dot of light appears on the bedroom wall between me and the machine floating above the trees a hundred feet away. It grows quickly into a patch of ruddy energy a yard in diameter. I'm not surprised because I'm familiar with portals and with what comes through them. I ready myself, relaxing instead of tensing. My thoughts quiet and I shift into that other self I don't like to show people. I'm not afraid, because this is something I do well. Something unexpected happens. I'm very familiar with suppression fields, but this time it's different. Instead of that heavy blanket of pressure trying to hold me down, it forms beneath me and lifts me up. If I were sleeping I'd never know I left the bed. Now it holds me suspended a yard or more above the bed and begins to carry me, slow and steady, towards that orange portal. I wonder if I should let it happen, and whether I'll be coming back this time if I do. In mid-air I decide to turn around and break the contact; there's a sudden jolt in my awareness and I'm darting back towards the bed, unable to tell whether it's my doing or not. Hopefully it is, because I no longer want to cooperate with these people. I doubt they trust me any longer--they want people who will act without questioning orders, and I've suddenly developed a moral sense. I'm replaced in the same position in which I left the mattress, and I listen for a few minutes more to the dissassembly noises, the movements of the crew on the metal deck, the clanking of machine parts being stowed, the creak and thunk of hatches closing and being secured. The men are talking, but not joking. They sound tired, even solemn. I hope I've been trouble. Then it leaves. I critique the noise, still thinking it might be a truck, but trucks wander the hills following the highway, shifting gears and revving motors, even if the engine is one of the new turbine models, the only type that might generate a sound like the one I hear. The noise of trucks traveling ebbs and flows with the terrain, but this noise leaves in a straight line towards the southwest, at treetop level and rising into the sky. In the morning I look for any evidence of the mission. There's no sign that anything was here. Afterwards I try to explain what happened to acquaintances online, but it's hard to get across to anyone what is so different about this--the physicality of it, the brute force technology, the completely ordinary mental state in which I observed and participated. I want to believe that in that one instant of broken perception, the instant of turning around to go back to my place in bed, I somehow broke away from the contact and disrupted the process, because that was my intention and that is what I tried to do. I'm troubled, though, because in that instant my thread of consciousness was broken. There is something wrong. I checked the clock that night after things settled down but there seemed to be no missing time. That is no comfort, because if technology does exist that shatters the limits of time and space, crosses light years in an eyeblink, anything is possible. Someone like me could be taken and returned to the same moment, having spent hours or days in other places. That could explain many things, like implanted devices that appear overnight in healed tissue. Other people claim it has happened to them. I suspect it has happened to me. |